Kim Kardashian is breaking new ground with her latest business venture “Selfish.” It’s not literary ground she’s breaking by compiling a 352 page book of her unpublished selfies, though. She has achieved a level of self indulgent vanity that Narcissus himself would envy. Instead of looking at 16 practically identical versions of this picture, I’ve put together a list of alternative reading material, each of which would be more intellectually stimulating than nearly a year’s worth of one person’s #selfies.
The Great American Hot Dog Book
– by Becky Mercuri
Fill your time admiring pictures of something equally artificial and yet still less nauseating than hundreds of pictures of the same face.
The Biography of Zachory Taylor
– by John S. D. Eisenhower
Did you even remember that he was our 12th president? Brush up on your knowledge of the man who served an unremarkable 16 months as president of the free world. Because despite his short time in the oval office, he is still more important than a fame-hungry socialite.
Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine!
– by Chris Maynard and Bill Scheller
Everyone needs to know how to cook a turkey on their carburetor in a bind. Definitely more than they need to know how to work their angles in a helicopter.
C D B !
– by William Steig
Originally published in 1968, this masterpiece is ahead of its time. Much like the modern tween girl, and probably Kim, Author William Steig writes using only singular letters to tell this tale. Can you crack the code?
Happy reading!
Chelsea, did you say something? 
